Love and Romance On the Spectrum
When I was in my teens, and even into young adulthood, love and romantic relationships were something I did not understand, much as I tried. Love and intimate relationships were a confusing, muddled world to me. It took years of direct social skills coaching to understand how to form a reciprocal peer relationship, so I learned to occupy my time and my thoughts with things I did understand such as academics, reading, and of course, spending time with my former service dog, Lucy.
Although I did eventually learn to understand love and romantic relationships on some level—through spending time with typical young adult peers, talking to them about their relationships with their boyfriends and girlfriends, and observing their behavior—I still probably have a better grasp on how to form a peer relationship than a romantic relationship.
You might have just thought, “Well, romantic relationships can be confusing for anyone,” and I suppose you’d be right. However, for teens and young adults with autism, it can often be more difficult to grasp the specific verbal and nonverbal communication signals typically exchanged during a social interaction due to the delays in social and communication skills that are present with the disorder.
When it comes to dating, knowing what to talk about on a date and when it may be appropriate to bring up a specific topic can be challenging. And understanding the flow of a conversation or how to broaden the conversation to include the other person’s interests can be difficult for young adults on the spectrum and may require direct one-on-one social skills coaching or other strategies.
Now in its third season, Netflix’s Love on the Spectrumfollows nine young adults across the autism spectrum from all over the country as they step into the complex world of dating and relationships, some for the first time. Someone asked me if I thought the show made fun of people with autism. I said, “No, I think the show is fantastic.” You get to see the unique strengths and challenges of each individual and how that may present in terms of autism.
The show really does a great job of showcasing the diversity of the autism spectrum and how even among young adults living with Level 1 autism [the mildest form of autism spectrum disorder], that sample itself is truly very broad. I think before assuming something like that, you have to understand the types of challenges associated with autism and that these challenges are very real and genuine.
I would almost bet that Netflix did not agree to film this series to showcase the shortcomings of young adults with autism, but rather to allow the public to consider a different angle regarding shows focusing on love and romance. Seeing the cast members gain confidence in social situations and in themselves, and hopefully find happiness—that’s the best part.
Season 4 is set to be released at some point next year.
